her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
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It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
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I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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