i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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