That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
