Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
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Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
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So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Drunk is a universal language darling
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