I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
