Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
