Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
