i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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