my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
