So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
