This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
