Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
