Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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