I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
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