If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
