Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
