Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
