Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
