i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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