I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize
