you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
