Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
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