eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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