Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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