Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
