i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
It's shark week go big or go home
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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