I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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