Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize