She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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