is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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