Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(559): View more from California

So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best

(310): View more from California

and??

(559): View more from California

Cake is only good when you eat it

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(314): View more from Missouri

I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.

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(613): View more from Ontario

my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy

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(618): View more from Illinois

remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken

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(310): View more from California

She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.

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(678): View more from Georgia

Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.

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(714): View more from California

The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb

(714): View more from California

What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft

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