Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
