Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
