fuck your aforementioned shoe
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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