How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
