clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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