Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Randomize
