We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
can u get pink eye on your cock?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
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