I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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