O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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