I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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