We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
My butt remains clenched, sir.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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