Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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