So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
