Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
