Grow some girl-balls and come out already
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
