I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
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