The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
