My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
