He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Randomize
