no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
