Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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