yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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