That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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