Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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