reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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