He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
