whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
as a side note pls kill me
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
