I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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