I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
