I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
