i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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