dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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