Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
How naked do you want me to be?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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