eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
