Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
