Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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