doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Houston, we have a squirter
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
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