Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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