he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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