I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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