she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I didn't notice because vodka
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
